LetsRun Slander

I've finally made it as a runner! My name has been slandered across the LetsRun.com message boards. Oh yea, I'm legit now. The way I see it, I'm now in the same realm as Dathan Ritzenhein, Alan Webb, Galen Rupp, and Alberto Salazar. Next week my Nike contract will be inked which is all being worked out by my agent Ray Flynn. I will soon be taking the running world by storm now that I'm a bonafide running superstar.

In reality, some S(o)B felt the need to seek revenge on the public running forum in a thread entitled "The guy who just won ironman florida ran 2:43." Check it out while you can as I think it will be taken down soon.

I'll highlight some of the gems of the thread...

First post by Cool Guy 505:

not too shabby

bet not a single one of you poser dickhags could do well at an IM...

just sayin

There is some bantering back and forth and then I apparently decide to hype myself...

Tenth post by look me up dickhead:

My name is Jordan Kinley and I ran a 2:27 last year in Oklahoma (a tough course). That being said, 2:43 is f'ing slow.

This would be where, presumably, people start googling my name, find this blog and realize that I'm totally down with bashing triathletes' performances. I love belittling athletes' running times which is why I have chosen to pursue a career in the running industry. There's nothing like connecting with customers than by mocking their times, right?

Anyway, it should be noted that I had two friends compete down at the Florida Ironman. Both John Bruno (10:50 finish) and Ryan Kamp (10:11) were debuting at the Ironman distance and did exceptionally well. It would just be stellar for me to go on and criticize the winner's marathon time on LetsRun.com. Definitely not my style.

The really good stuff doesn't get written until 2:24 am when "STUCK IN THE MUD" decides to stir up the muck once more. He writes writes some incoherent rant about my DNA sucking, crawling up buttholes and coiffures. Given the hour of the post (a) the individual was drunk, came home from a bad night out and had the violent urge to slander my name or (b) the person lives on the west coast and just happened to be up at 11:24 pm to post when he knew most would be sleeping. I'll go for option (b) and make the assumption my poser had just finished shaving his arms and plucking his eyebrows. He's also recently done a google search to figure out the meaning of coiffure.

Again, check out the thread while it lasts...